Difficult times

I have not posted for a while. I have been going through some very difficult times. Health and employment.

My husband and I will both be unemployed as of the first of June. We have been unsuccessful in finding jobs. Time is running out and with two children with chronic health conditions (which means ongoing expensive and necessary medications and doctor visits) losing our insurance on July 1st is very scary.

I think I can find a teaching job but will have to commute a ways each day and will have to be in a different town for my job each day from the town my children will be attending school. With children with special medical needs (and we have another child who we adopted years ago who is developmentally disabled) this is not the best place to be for the times when I have to come get someone from school due to health issues. (I'd be 30 minutes drive away) We have never had any extended family support to help in those times. It was manageable when I was a at-home mom, but I now have to work outside the home so I am not here to take up these responsibilities.

My husband seems to be having some kind of crisis in his life. I can not get him to get moving to start applying for work beyond the few jobs he really wanted to get. (they are not panning out) We can not pay our minimum bills on my teaching salary alone.(IF I get a job) We are not a family who spends money on anything considered "extra" (except for TV and internet) or eat out or anything like that. If I drop the phone, internet, cable and sell my car.....we still can't make the monthly bills on one teachers salary. This does not even take into account the cost of medical without insurance.

I wish my husband had secured another job before up and quitting his current one. I do feel that was not the best way to handle things.

I am having periods of great fear and worry. Then my faith will come in strong and help out. However, as those dates loom closer (last pay and losing health care) my worry, fear, and anger towards my husband increases.

On top of that, I have been struggling with a great amount of pain due to a medical condition I have. I am trying to get some outpatient treatment completed before we lose our insurance, but this treatment may not work and I may have to have a very difficult-to-recover-from surgery. Well, that surgery would not happen since we will lose health insurance and I can not take time to recover from it when it looks like I may have to be starting up a new full-time job.

My life has not been easy thus far, but I must say that this time that I am currently going through is probably the most difficult that I can remember. We have so much at stake and so much to lose. We also have the health and well-being of three of us hanging in the balance due to the upcoming loss of health care.

If you are a praying person, please pray for us.

I may not post again for a while. I have nothing really worthwhile to share while I'm in this horrible time of trial and pain and typing about it here (in part...I left some more personal and intense parts out) is really difficult emotionally.

May you find peace and Blessing!