Still missing home

I am still struggling with working full-time outside of our home.

If you do not know me, you do not know the dynamics of our family and why it is proving to be so very difficult having me work full-time. If you do...well, you understand! (in a huge nutshell....two children with chronic health conditions, two "typical" children, and one child with severe MR, ODD, ADHD)

I'm averaging around 60 hours a week and it is really difficult.

I love where I work and love teaching, however it is the hours and the responsibilities at home on top of working so many hours that is really hurting.

I also think because my husband and I have always made sure to live well beneath our means and made sure his salary was all we counted on. Well, when he was unemployed....it did not matter what we had planned!

It is like it says in (I think) Saint James...about how we can plan all we want, but we should really be saying "if Lord wills it....we will go here and do this....". I know that.

I do love teaching and I know I am good at what I do. Teaching full-time is something we (husband and I) had talked about my doing when our kids were grown. But not before then. Part-time teaching and/or sub-teaching would work very well...but not full-time.

I guess I'm just missing home and missing what I thought life would be like this year.

I do have to say that I am grateful I am teaching at the Parish school where we are members of the Parish. I did ask to be moved to 2nd grade for next year and I hope I get moved....If not, I know I will only stay one more year. (I'm not a career kindergarten teacher) I think if I get moved to 2nd grade, it may help a great deal. I'd still be putting in the long hours but the daily physical exhaustion of teaching a full class of five year olds without an aid would be gone.

We'll see what happens. I doubt I'll know anything until after Lent.

Speaking of Lent, I hope all those who participate in this season are experiencing a closer walk with our Lord through what is being given up and by what is being done additionally. I do love this season so very much.

Peace